Orgo Professor:Think of resonance structures this way: A dragon and an unicorn have an offspring. The offspring is a hippopotamus. You can see characteristics of the dragon and the unicorn in the hippopotamus. Dragons and Unicorns don't exist, but hippopotamuses do.
Here I am, back at Penn again. First of all, There really needs to be a rail line that cuts directly across the southern half of the state. My transit took 4 hours. When I drive, it takes an hour and a half. I could’ve been there and back in that time. That’s ridiculous.
Anyway, the lease on my sublet doesn’t open up until June 1st, so I’m living with Vishal for a few days before I’m off to Cali and only then do I get back to Philly. Both him and I under packed, so we’re currently getting along with… minimal food and no towels. Also, I was under the impression that he had a single, so the only person I’d be intruding on would be him (which, really doesn’t matter, because he’s a giant poopface :D). Except, in reality. He has a quad. WITH THREE MALE ROOMMATES. OH SO AWKWARD. I don’t want to sleep out in the lounge, but I don’t want them to think awkward things, but sleeping in the lounge is awkward because I don’t know these other people and they’ll be like WTF in the morning when they walk out…
Anyway, to make up for our massive underpacking (I only have one suitcase. :O As a point of comparison - when I moved out of Hill, I had to make three trips with the giant cart. ), we went to CVS… and spent sixty dollars. That’s four pairs of shoes on Cutesy Girl.
So when I was bored on the excessively long train ride/excessively long layover times, I realized that I was only living at home for a total of 10 weeks the entirety of 2010. Including random weekends when I go home, the total might get bumped up to 12 weeks. That’s kinda scary. I’ve already begun the process of moving out.
I’ve always imagined moving out to be a definitive moment in your life. When you pack up all your stuff, march out the front door and declare “I’M INDEPENDENT NOW.” I guess it’s more of a gradual process, where slowly there occurs a transition from “I’ll come home in a week” to “I’m visiting home for a weekend”.
Home will always be home, in all its timelessness (I had a moment the other day, where I realized I’ve lived in the same house, walked up the same driveway for eight years. Having moved a lot in my elementary school days, that really shocked me.), but it becomes less of a landing pad and more of a branch floating in the waves, a welcome piece of rest and reprieve before flying off to face the real world again.
Oof. It’s 12:30 AM. Time for bed! Bed barely after midnight at college? Blasphemy. Well, you know what? Fuck 8:30 AM classes. Fuck 8:30 AM Orgo in DRL ON THE OTHER SIDE OF CAMPUS.
It’s a different “I don’t want to go back to Penn” feeling than before. I’m excited about summer, about Camp Penn basically, about having only two classes to worry about, about making a buttload of money, for seeing the sisters (and the brothers again, i guess. But less so. YEAH. HENRY. THAT WAS TO YOU. BECAUSE I KNOW YOU CREEP THIS.), for road tripping to the shore with a bunch of landlubbers, about annoying the crap out of Vishal, about Convention. But I need more time at home.
I need to be able to juerga at the beach, steal Justin’s beach tags, spend days in a row at Justin’s because that’ usually where we end up, raid Stevie’s house, complain about being bored, FLASHDANCERS, cooking parties, SISTERHOOD/GIRLTALK/NOTEBOOK camp-outs where we put up tents in the rain. I need night time car rides where we freak out over squirrels and bored trips to the mall for the umpteenth time and late night runs to the mexican grocer and the babies. I need to get sick of being at home first. (And I’ve yet to finish FFXIII, and I don’t have a TV at school. CRISIS.)
Two weeks was not enough. But, I couldn’t ask for a more fitting way for my short interlude away from Penn to end.
Call me sentimental, but prom is always magical - just in different ways. Tomorrow night, Tammy and I are going to sit back, sip tea, watch the class of ‘10 celebrate themselves, their accomplishments, and the future, and revel sweetly in our own nostalgia. And hopefully, not get food poisoning.
And then pretend like we’re in college again and cram in 4 hours of sleep before rushing off for more (probably grumpy) fun.
Nota Bene: New Jersey rural areas are terrifying to drive through at 2 in the morning. Jersey might be the most densely populated state, but there is absolutely no sign of life on these roads. No lights in the distance, no passing cars, nothing. Just trees and darkness and the over-active imaginations of two asian girls.
"EYES ON THE ROAD. EYES ON THE ROAD. WE’RE GOING TO DIE. YOUR GPS IS CURSED."
Last night, Tanay’s little shindig ran later than I expected. I had told my mom I was going to be home by midnight - instead, I had only dropped Tammy off by 2 A.M. Things were going wonderfully - my mom was already in bed, I had made every single green light on that stretch of 35 from Red Bank to West Park Avenue (which is a big fucking deal for me - considering I used to drive the majority of that stretch from work almost everyday and I’d try so hard to make all the green lights and it would never work. And also, it means I didn’t have to brake for about 7 miles, meaning I was quite fuel efficient. :D).
My plan: sneak into the house, go to bed. Pretend I got home relatively around midnight the next morning.
Did not account for the fact Tammy stole my keys by accident -.- We have the same Vera Wang ID/Keys holder thing. She must’ve grabbed mine instead. My phone was also dead - so she couldn’t call me to come back.
Ended up ringing the doorbell obnoxiously at 2:30AM, waking up Mother, having to sit and listen to her rage about how I was going to bring dishonour upon our family name (lawl, not even kidding. Disney got something correct with Mulan, at least.) and then rage more about how tired she was going to be the next morning and how it was all my fault.
Tammy randomly brought up baby pictures in conversation, so I pulled out my yearbook, and now I’m also feeling nostalgic as fuck. I’m reading our page of remember whens, and I remember putting this page together, and the two other pages of inside jokes that never made it in the yearbook. I remember when the people in this book were my entire world, my entire life.
It’s slightly naive of me to want to go back to simpler times, isn’t it?
But on a happier note - I’m taking (two of) the children out to Ralph’s tomorrow :D
“You are young, my child, and, as the years go by, time will change and even reverse many of your present opinions. Refrain therefore awhile from setting yourself up as a judge of the highest matters.”—Plato, Laws 888 (The name of my tumblr =])
I spent over five hours with you guys doing nothing but sitting and talking and watching SMASH/MELEE/BRAWL (to this day I don’t know/care to know the difference). It passed in a flash. Nothing’s changed. I missed this. <3
Fuck Towns. No more running around a town talking to random strangers to progress the story. No more spending hours backtracking across deserts (FFXII) just to restock. No more running to the other side of the city to get to a different type of shop. Everything you need is just right there at a save spot. It’s wonderful. There was this one scene where they dropped me onto a beach in a flashback and I had to follow Serah, but I wasn’t paying attention where she went and so I had to play the “let’s talk to people” game. Ugh, did not miss that.
Linearity is awesome. Story > Exploration at the moment. Usually when I play FF games, I find myself spending the initial part in a rush, trying to get to the next cutscene for the story to progress. Also, I’m not stressed about possibly missing something. I remember in previous RPGs, I’d always be afraid that I wasn’t getting the full experience out of the game if I didn’t make each decision perfectly.
I thought the post battle stats thing would get really annoying like it did in FFX, but the fact that a higher ranking = replenishing TP actually makes me pay attention to it. I haven’t hit that point where I’m like “OMG SO MANY UNECESSARY SCREENS”.
In terms of battles, I find that I’m only really comfortable controlling an offensive role. (I don’t auto-battle because that’s silly.) I guess I haven’t had much need to buff/debuff/heal when I can have my secondary character do it for me.
Okay - the music is stuck in my head right now. Not even stuck where I’m humming it and it’s an active tic I can force myself to stop. No. It’s the kind where it’s just playing in the back of your head and won’t. shut. up. I think it’s because I took a nap with the music on in the bg during the day. Oops, my fault.
Everything feels so surreal right now. We had our own KDPhi banquet tonight. I couldn’t think of a better way to end my freshman year. Looking back, I remember leaving for winter break first semester - and how I felt no reason to come back. I remember stressing about not having chosen the right school and wanting to transfer. It’s amazing how things have have turned a 180 and how sad I am to be leaving.
I think pledging aKDPhi really completed my experience at Penn. The best days are honestly the ones where KDPhi takes over my life for 10 hours at a time and you rush from one event to another. Things are never boring; there’s never a moment of peace; and it’s amazing.
God, it’s so weird. A year ago I would’ve never saw myself in a sorority. Anasian one on top of that. On the surface it just seems to reflect so much of what annoys me: a large group of girls (check), a large group of fobby asians (checkcheck), being a stereotypical college girl (checkcheckcheck).
I remember during rush, how some of the sisters had said they met their best friends through rush. I remember my first thoughts were that they had spent their first semester friendless, and wondering how you can be best friends with someone you’ve haven’t known as long.
Well, I still don’t know, but I do know that I love these girls with all my heart, and it really makes me sad that I won’t see some of them for four months. So many of the doubts I had through rush and through pledging have been relieved. I used to worry about not being close to my psis (I still read that as pounds per square inch) pledge sisters; I used to think I’d never be close to my big; I used to think the new pledging process wasn’t as effective… and tons of other stuff.
Looking back, damn I worried a lot.
I love my sisters, and I can’t wait for convention in 3 weeks (where we prove that Upenn KDPhi are better than the slutty west coast KDPhis**). I love my big, I love my letters - I’m just so warm and fuzzy right now inside. So many of my worries evaporated tonight. I still have that one major stress factor in my life (coughboycough) but I know I have something to fall back upon if I need it.
As Amy was saying, the best part was that we had so much fun - and we were 100% sober. Such a departure from Lambda Banquet.
There’s just so many things I want to reflect on - outside of KDPhi too (hard to believe from my tumblr - but I have a life outside my sorority xD). I’ve met some amazing people at Penn. The only regret I have is not meeting some of them earlier.
This is my last night at Penn as a freshman, as a neo, as a member of Hill House 4th floor Blue Doors. My room is a mess and I really need to pack. But I’m going to figure out a way to watch Time Traveler’s Wife with Amanda and steal discarded furniture from my future roommate’s current rich, wasteful roommate instead.
Yes, I’m still wearing my banquet dress.
**Northeast(except Rutgers - they be ho’ing it up also) or SmartSchool KDPhis (CMU, Cornell, Upenn, Stanford etc) are like the blacksheep of KDPhi. West Coast Kdphis are all sluts. -__-
“Some women choose to follow men, and some women choose to follow their dreams. If you’re wondering which way to go, remember that your career will never wake up and tell you that it doesn’t love you anymore.”—
I’m not a fan of the college learning model. There is just so much material stuffed into such a short amount of time, I’m just not able to digest the material. I spent 5 days in a row cramming physics and nothing else. Honestly? 14 Chapters? Really? I do try to keep up, but I still find myself cramming the material at the end of the semester for finals. Studying for finals should indicate a review, not panicked learning. Granted, this might just be an indicator that I need better study habits.
However, the fact that practically the entire collegegoing population goes through this ordeal indicates there’s something wrong with the teaching model.
I’ve learned to really appreciate the teachers I had in HTHS. They were there to make sure you succeeded, not to fulfill an obligation on their job description. Maybe colleges should start hiring on willingness to teach rather than the value of these professors’ research.
I guess you can argue it both ways. The purpose of a college or university or any establishment of high education is to expand knowledge. And that can be interpreted as expanding the wealth of knowledge for the masses or specifically focusing on expanding the knowledge of its students.
Hmm, maybe that’s why I hated Valetutto so much. She honestly believed that we were in a community college atmosphere and forced us to compete with each other, was very distant as a teacher, etc. Sweetie, I realize that’s how real college works, but that’s not the standard we should be aiming for.
Do be a better teacher, don’t pretend you have a better title.
Delayed passive aggressiveness aside, I’ve found that the classes I enjoyed the most, or at least felt like I gained the most from were classes that allowed me to absorb the material. CBE - 4 chapters - not even. The first two had to do with unit conversion and linear regressions.
It’s 1 AM and my thoughts are a befuddled mix of physics, vector calc, and relationships. I realize that I’m not in the most rational mindset right now and all this is most likely due to stress - but this doesn’t help me shake the feeling that shit is about to hit the fan and I have no idea what I’m doing in school since I’m going to fail everything or in life or in terms of the boy and the future oh fuck it there is no future and summer and I feel like I’m approaching this all wrong too fast too empty and all of the irrational fears are starting to take over —